Dec 6

how to handle big data center properly:

days becoming worser
network switch missing
some one sees idle switch
moves it to another data center
our backup webserver is suddenly gone from network

May 31

Problem Description:

Customer doesn’t see his corporate credit card account in internet banking. There is nothing I can do with that except creating incident ticket. Please, resolve this case and inform me if it’s possible. Thank you in advance

What can I do.. :)

May 28

Pretty close to “Justin”:

Tech:

Hi King,
Pls assist with the cleanup of the list of original currency available for viewing in JFP and do advise all on the delivery date.

–>

King:

Hi G,
Can you please help to update the required currency codes to the existing list provided by S?

–>

GT:

Hi King,
Please let me know what help is required..

–>

King:

hi G,
Need your help to add the missing country currency codes to the existing list for JFP to update so that we can prevent future FCY display issue in txn description in JFP.

Boss:

King - Pls coordinate with J/K on the list of missing currencies and get the same updated in JFP.

King:

Hi J/K,
Please update the missing FCY codes to the existing list (provided below by S) for JFP update.
This update is required to clean up the available currency list and same will be displayed in txn description for FCY txns done by customers in overseas for LCY credit cards.

comments?

Jan 22

coding and versioning :)

@author : fou:)
@KISS-ed by : fen :)
@KISS-ed in fou style by: fou:)

Oct 22

All from the same team, started with…

Fri 2010-10-22 10:27

Dear Sender,
I’m currently out of office. I’ll be back on 2.11.2010
In case of emergency please contact (…)
For escalations please contact (…)

Regards

then…

Fri 2010-10-22 10:28

Dear Sender,

I am out of office until 01.11.2010

Regards,

next one..

Fri 2010-10-22 10:39

Dear Sender,

I am Out of Office till 22.10.2010 (inclusive). Please contact (…) for BAU and Projects.

Please reach out to my mobile +48 (…) for any critical matters and (…) for escalations.

Regards,

and finally..

Fri 2010-10-22 11:16

Dear sender
I’m out of office till end of week (October 22nd). During my absence (…) will deputize me. For escalations please contact (…).

Regards

Didn’t dare to check further…

Apr 27

Co kto gdzie i kiedy :)

Dear AIX/Middleware/Project Team,

Please let us know who killed the PLW process on server 13.
Thanks & Regards
(…)

Oct 8

kill-9 :D

I guess I’ll have to shut you down for good this time,
Already tried a SIGQUIT, so now it’s KILL DASH 9.
You gotta learn when it’s time for your thread to yield;
It shoulda slept; instead you stepped and now your fate is sealed.
I’ll take your process off the run queue without even asking
‘Cause my flow is like reentrant and preemptive multitasking.
Your sad rhymes are spinnin’ like you’re in a deadlock,
You’re like a synchronous sock that don’t know when to block;
So I pull out my keyboard and I pull out my glock,
And I dismount your girl and I mount /proc
And I’ve got your fuckin pid and the bottom line
Is that you best not front or else it’s KILL DASH NINE.

KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I run KILL DASH NINE,
‘Cause it’s MY time to shine
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

See it ain’t about the Benjamins or Pentiums or Athlons,
But you rappin’ 50 meters while I’m spittin’ in decathlons.
Your shit’s old and busted, mine’s the new hotness;
You’re like CLR and I’m like CLRS.
You’re running csh and my shell is bash,
You’re the tertiary storage; I’m the L1 cache.
I’m a web crawling spider; you an Internet mosquito;
You thought the 7-layer model referred to a burrito.
You’re a dialup connection; I’m a gigabit LAN.
I last a mythical man-month; you a one-minute man.
It’s like I’m running Thunderbird and you’re still stuck with Pine,
Which is why I think it’s time for me to KILL DASH NINE.

Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE
No more CPU time.
‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine.
I said KILL DASH NINE
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

My posse throws down like leaky bucket regulators;
I was coding shit in MIPS while you were playing Space Invaders.
With my finger on the trigger I run ./configure
Yo, this package is big, but MY package is bigger.
I roll my weed with Zig Zag while I zag-zig splay,
And I do a bounds check before I write to an array.
I’m a loc’d out baller writing KLOCS a day,
‘Cause it’s publish or perish, fool, what can I say?
I’m 26 now, will I live to see 28?
Some days I wonder if I’ll survive to graduate.
But hey, that’s just fine, I won’t ever resign,
And if fools try to step then it’s KILL DASH NINE!

Yeah it’s KILL DASH NINE,
From my command line
It’s KILL DASH NINE
Sending chills down your spine,
I said KILL DASH NINE,
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
So don’t step outta line or else it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

fs sa rlidwka
I’ll chown your home and take your access away
Comin’ straight outta Stanford, ain’t nobody tougher,
Control-X, Control-C, I’ll discard your fuckin’ buffer.
You’re outside your scope, son, close them curly brackets,
‘Cause I drop punk-ass bitches like a modem drops packets.
Dump your motherfucking core, and trace your stack
‘Cause where your ass is going, there won’t be no callback.
See my style is divine and my code is sublime,
My career’s in a climb and yours is in a decline.
I’ll write a pound-define and assign you as mine,
So refine those sad rhymes or remove your plus signs,

Or it’s KILL DASH NINE,
No more CPU time,
‘Cause it’s KILL DASH NINE,
And your process is mine,
I said KILL DASH NINE
‘Cause it’s my time to shine,
Bitch you stepped outta line and now it’s
KILL DASH NINE!

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